OXFORD - At the first presidential television debate in Oxford, Mississippi, Republican candidate John McCain has raised the level for electoral slander campaigns to unprecedented heights by openly contesting the human nature of his opponent.
In what can only be described as a spectacular display of political bluff, McCain accused his Democrat rival Barack Obama of '[...being in reality a giant potato, falsely posing as an Afro-American human male in order to mislead honest US voters.' 'Are we really going to entrust the leadership of the world's greatest country to this devious crop vegetable?', the 72-year old Vietnam veteran proceeded to ask the dumbfounded audience. Senator Obama dismissed the allegations as 'absurd' and 'outrageous', before rushing off the stage in a fury, leaving behind a deeply confused crowd.
Later that evening, McCain spokesperson Rick Davis repeated the controversial allegations, stating that '[..]the time for political correctness has passed' and '...the truth about Senator Obama must be known'. Obama advisor Robert Gibb strongly dismissed McCain's accusations as 'unfounded and ludicrous', suggesting that Senator McCain 'seriously consider seeking medical help'. Ludicrous or not, 'Potatogate', as it is already being called, is set to do some serious damage to the Obama campaign. Political commentator John Pundit: 'Whether or not Senator Obama is in actuality a potato (which I doubt), the suggestion is now out there. From where I'm standing, the claims may seem preposterous, but the general American public is bound to start asking questions'.
With government confidence at an all-time low, even the vaguest of rumours is bound to spark unrest among American voters. Agitated gun salesman Bob Jockstrap: 'Potato or not, there must be something to it. I mean, why would McCain invent such a thing? I 'm not saying Barack Obama is a potato, maybe he's really a man or another kind of vegetable, I couldn't tell. I just don't know who to believe anymore.' Recent polls indicate that Potatogate has already set back Obama 3 %. Still, the Obama camp remains confident that the allegations will not affect the Democratic bid for glory. 'Don't you worry, we too have got something up our sleeve', a top Obama advisor mysteriously giggled to our reporter.
In what can only be described as a spectacular display of political bluff, McCain accused his Democrat rival Barack Obama of '[...being in reality a giant potato, falsely posing as an Afro-American human male in order to mislead honest US voters.' 'Are we really going to entrust the leadership of the world's greatest country to this devious crop vegetable?', the 72-year old Vietnam veteran proceeded to ask the dumbfounded audience. Senator Obama dismissed the allegations as 'absurd' and 'outrageous', before rushing off the stage in a fury, leaving behind a deeply confused crowd.
Later that evening, McCain spokesperson Rick Davis repeated the controversial allegations, stating that '[..]the time for political correctness has passed' and '...the truth about Senator Obama must be known'. Obama advisor Robert Gibb strongly dismissed McCain's accusations as 'unfounded and ludicrous', suggesting that Senator McCain 'seriously consider seeking medical help'. Ludicrous or not, 'Potatogate', as it is already being called, is set to do some serious damage to the Obama campaign. Political commentator John Pundit: 'Whether or not Senator Obama is in actuality a potato (which I doubt), the suggestion is now out there. From where I'm standing, the claims may seem preposterous, but the general American public is bound to start asking questions'.
With government confidence at an all-time low, even the vaguest of rumours is bound to spark unrest among American voters. Agitated gun salesman Bob Jockstrap: 'Potato or not, there must be something to it. I mean, why would McCain invent such a thing? I 'm not saying Barack Obama is a potato, maybe he's really a man or another kind of vegetable, I couldn't tell. I just don't know who to believe anymore.' Recent polls indicate that Potatogate has already set back Obama 3 %. Still, the Obama camp remains confident that the allegations will not affect the Democratic bid for glory. 'Don't you worry, we too have got something up our sleeve', a top Obama advisor mysteriously giggled to our reporter.
